Oh how the mighty have fallen

Have you noticed a preoccupation by people to bring down people who are in positions of authority – willing to believe any bit of dirt or gossip. They’ll jump on a mistake, making sure that everyone knows that it has happened. Whether it’s people in celebrity positions or just those people in our society that are in positions of authority, people seem to take extra-pleasure in watching those in authority suffer for what they have done.

I examine this because I’ve once again experienced it myself. Now, what happened isn’t really important but I made a mistake, again! However, it wasn’t life altering and it was between me and someone else. Now, I know there is always fallout for mistakes and I’m willing to face the music. Hey, when you are an authority position you need to willing to admit you make mistakes. Making a mistake is human. It’s the gossiping and tale-telling that goes along with it that I don’t understand. Why do people take it upon themselves to make sure that everyone knows you messed up? I guess I just don’t understand.

Gossip has always been something that, as an administrator, I’ve had to deal with and rise above. I’ve had enough stories in the past 5 years I’ve wondered what people will do now that I’m leaving and going to another school. Who will people have to blame? In this particular case, what I did was just stupid but when I caught one of the staff of the school gossiping about it with other people a few times during the day, I began to wonder why? What’s the purpose? I mean, I’m moving on so what’s the point? Does it make them feel better? Does it justify their opinions? Does it make them feel better?

I don’t know. I don’t see the thrill in reliving others mistakes – glorying in their problems and, as an administrator, I definitely have the opportunity to see many mistakes by many different people – students, staff and parents. Even if I could, which I can’t because of the whole confidentiality piece, discussing over and over someone’s mistake just seems to be the wrong way to do things. Maybe once you’ve had to constantly try to find positive solutions and help people who have made mistakes, you realize that no one wins in such situations. No one gets ahead by making someone look bad.

Yes, I made a mistake. It was something that was said that I wish I could take back but I can’t. When I make a mistake, I realize that I have to take the fallout from it and be ready to endure whatever happens without defending myself or my actions. Wrong is wrong. But I don’t understand the pleasure people get from spreading bad things about others. As I overheard one of the people that was being told of my mistake “Well that’s just unforgivable. There’s no place for such things.” She’s right, in some ways. However, was it necessary to tell everyone about the incident when it was only between two of us? I was already having trouble saying goodbye – it was all I could do to endure the rest of my time. I guess maybe these people haven’t had to deal with mistakes or done wrong things or felt the impact on their lives of what such discussions will do. Needless to say, I’m still coming to terms that anything I did will be wiped out by this one mistake – which is part of facing the music that we who lead have to do.

As people mourn the death of Michael Jackson and media reflect on his impact on music and society, I was intrigued how so many articles had difficulty with how to portray him – musical genius or another fallen mighty. Even in death the fascination of the fallen pulls people as much as the genius. I guess I’m wondering why the fascination. Is it that we need to see others hurt or enjoy that others will have more misery than we do? Does it make us feel better to see those in authority positions fall and suffer? Has this become part of our culture?  Having dealt with more than my share of people who have had this happen to them, I worry that we underestimate the damage these acts. Do I think that I don’t need to be held accountable? Not in the least – I expect it. Is it necessary to ensure everyone knows a mistake was made? Only if the outcome one wants is to make someone suffer.

Ah well, I guess it’s part and parcel that comes with the making a mistake and maybe I’m making too much out of this. But isn’t it funny how we wouldn’t want our students involved in something like this – we know how much the gossip and hurt would create and yet, without hesitation, we’ll partake as adults if it gives us the upper-hand and feel completely justified for doing so, drawing others to our cause in much the same way that the children do and are admonished for when it happens. I guess that, as adults, our reasons for doing so must be much better. Yeah, that’s it. As adults we have a much clearer understanding of this authority thing and, really, some people need really need to be dropped a peg or two.

As one of the staff commented to me as I was leaving “I hope you find what you’re looking for” I didn’t know what to say. Can anything be said? I guess, like always, I have to take comfort in the fact that through all that happened while I was administrator, I was able to continue to keep the focus on students and learning and, in the end, that’s what its all about!